Familiar Feelings

Right now I feel the way I did during high school.  Disappointed, saddened, feeling the pull of depression and dourness.  I had escaped those for awhile during college, because there was such constant connectedness with the positivity of others.  I realize I'm not happy right now, I fooling my self to say otherwise.  I'm trying to become stronger so I can resist these feelings, these paralyzing feelings.  I'm trying to deal with my problems without intervention.  But I realize how weak I am.  How dependent I am  on other people for my emotional stability.  

I don't know how to fix the problems of loneliness, I can't make people want me around more, and acceptance, I can't make my parents and others like my decisions or who I am.  They are almost entirely out of my control at this point.  I can only communicate how I feel so much, before it turns to pleading for pity.  I just wish this moment didn't feel so familiar, like college was the calm before the adult storm.  To tell you the truth, the way I know it feels like high school, is for the first time in a long time, I wish to be someone else.