You know that feeling when you know your on the edge of catharsis? Like when the music is swelling and it's almost reached it's climax. The emotions of the sound building. The swell of the chords reverberating from your inner ear to the deepest parts of your mind. Bringing your brain to its knees, begging for its pleasurable release.
I've been thinking about that moment. It's intoxicating to me, I long for that moment. I'm addicted to Catharsis. I live my life seeking those cathartic moments of realization. Living so tensely, waiting for the moment when I can feel that release.
In truth, I'm addicted to learning, I can't wait to find a problem and tackle it, the problem's details pushing the boundaries of my mind, creating that tension I long and seek. Waiting for the moment when I solve the problem. The realization that I understand the release I ultimately long for. The Sonata of my life in constant crescendo till a legato takes hold.
Unfortunately like any addiction, the more you do it the less effective it is on giving you that feeling of well-being. And I am no different. With each boundary of my mind pushed it takes a bigger problem to get that release. But that get's me into trouble, my mind is not limitless, and there are some problems I am not meant to face.
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