Confused Questions

I have such a great situation in life, but why am I so joyless? I have great friends that I love, but why am I so unhappy?  I have money, but why don't I feel secure? I have a body that is young and youthful, but why do I feel so old? I have God, but why do I feel so alone? I have personality, but why do relationships feel so one-sided? I don't want to stand out nor do I want to fit in, I just want to be, but why is there so much resistance to that?  I wonder if life after college is always this way or if finding a job normally ends these thoughts.  I thought living to serve people was all the purpose I'd need, but then the people moved away.  Or just aren't as close as before.  or just aren't around. or I just can't get hold of them. Whatever the reason that purpose isn't enough, what am I to do?  My age thirty-plus friends don't have advice, they say my case is an anomaly.  That I'm neither 22 nor 35, just a person caught between to many life stages all at once.  I guess that's why I'm confused, all the advice comes from a particular life stage, to transition through it smoothly. But I don't exist in one, I exist in many, and I just can't get a grip.  I wonder how long it will take to stop tumbling and gain traction?