We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. - John Lennon
I hope I spend every day doing that, I hope I spend every day from now, until life leaves me, loving others. I haven't found a greater call, nor a life worth living that compares to that. So I'm going to fight to make it happen, my dreams have been hurt this week, but not destroyed. I'm going to rebuild them. And I'm going to recenter them around God, around friends, around love. Nothing else can be built to last.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Week in Preview
Wow here it comes, the Week, this week is going to be crazy! So Monday is going to be working like mad to get my hours in, to much to do to little time to do it, it just might be a marathon. Tuesday is my 22nd birthday, wow where did all the time go, I feel like yesterday I was turning 21, or 16, or 12. Growing up to fast. I don't know what I'm doing for my birthday, only that I'm to leave the afternoon open past 3:30. So a mystery that is yet to be solved. But I know it will be fun. I'm not really prone to celebrating anything about me, so let's see what the 22nd birthday holds. Coupled with the birthday, is the start of march mullet madness, or Jonathan and Macdougall taking on the challenge to rock a mullet for a whole month to win $50 apiece. Hopefully that money will go to charity, but I bet them the money, so it's theres to do with as they please. There mullets are shaping up to be quite nice. So Tuesday jam packed with awesomeness. Followed swiftly by Wednesday, WORK ON ALL FRONTS, I have to cram a lot of work in because I'm not working Tuesday. That means both job and school so much to do so little time to do it. Thursday, flying to Orlando, Fla., going to see my Bffl Jonathan Maloney get married lol, its going to be an awesome weekend Disney World and Universal, back-to-back days of total awesomeness. But this is the week, the week to blow off a lot of steam even though its going to cost a lot to do it. Here's to you God for keeping me sane, here's to you friend for loving me, lets do this!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Birthdays
Getting people birthday gifts is a delightful experience, I'm really enjoying looking for the perfect gift. :D
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Its all about the little things...
Today has been so much about the simple pleasures in life, I just felt compelled to write some simple pleasures I always love.
-Songs that bring you back to great moments in your life.
-Accidentally overhearing someone say nice things about you.
-Laughing so hard you don’t even make any noise. (Garrett, you almost made me cry today, I was laughing so hard)
-That instant when the thing you didn’t understand suddenly makes complete sense.
-When you drop something and then swiftly grab it in mid-air before it hits the ground.
-When questions on an exam give away the answers to other questions on the same exam.
-The feeling you get when a group of friends all laugh really hard at one of your random jokes.
-Finally getting to sleep in your own bed after being away for a few weeks.
-Correctly guessing an old password on a website you haven’t visited in awhile.
-Waking up all by yourself a minute or two before your alarm goes off and feeling well rested.
-When someone tells you “yes” when you expected them to say “no.”
-When you’re hot under your bed covers and you stick one leg out from under the covers to cool off.
-Realizing you were smiling the entire time you were talking to someone, right after you hang up the phone.
-Laughing hysterically with your friends, then pausing momentarily, looking at each other, and then laughing hysterically again.
-Taking the perfect picture.
-When someone around you randomly starts laughing and even though you don’t know why they’re laughing it makes you laugh too.
-The kind of friend you can say “I love you” to without implying anything but a deep platonic friendship.
-Finding something you made when you were a kid.
-Hanging out with your closest friends and just being able to feel comfortable in your own skin around them.
-Being next in line
-When you succeed in doing something someone said you were incapable of doing.
-When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.
-The humble feeling of accomplishment you get after you fix something that was broken.
-When you wake up before your alarm and you have enough time to go back to sleep for awhile.
-Pulling into your neighborhood after a long road trip.
-Seeing the person who makes your heart race, even if it’s just for a few seconds.
-Hearing a new song you really like and then downloading it and listening to it over and over and over.
-Crossing things off your to-do list.
-Seeing somebody use and enjoy a gift you gave them.
-Being able to tell someone some genuine good news.
-The good pain of stretching your legs after sitting down for a long time.
-When someone scratches an itch on your back for you.
-The moment you see that you actually got a really good grade on a test or term paper.
-When you accidentally say something that rhymes.
-Making momentary eye contact with a cute stranger.
-An honest relationship. No secrets. No lies.
-People who make you smile just by thinking of them.
-Taking a ridiculously long nap and feeling like a million bucks when you wake up.
-When you realize you have finished everything way ahead of schedule and can do whatever you want for the rest of the day.
-Looking at a digital clock and seeing a series of numbers, like 12:34
-The way the sun shines through the leaves of a tall tree.
-The exciting feeling you get when you’re getting off the plane in a city you’ve never been to before.
-Receiving a surprise hug from behind by someone you were looking forward to seeing.
-When nobody else uses the public restroom the entire time you’re in there.
-The feeling of a fresh mouth after you brush your teeth.
-Being on the beach at night.
-Having a really great day with a friend you haven’t spent time with in ages.(Thinking of you Wayde)
-Waking up to good morning texts from someone who makes you smile.
-Hearing a song that seems to be written about exactly what’s going on in your life right now.
-That weightless feeling you get after a good cry and knowing you’ll be ok
-When you make eye contact with a friend from across the room and you both automatically smile.
-When you finally yawn after an airplane flight and your ears pop back to normal.
-Scoring 100% on anything.
-When you and a close friend finish each other’s sentences.
-When you and a friend say the same exact thing at the same exact time.
-Hitting all green lights while driving when you are in a rush.
-Singing and dancing around the house with music blaring when no one is home.
-The cold side of the pillow on a warm summer night.
-Waking up after having a great dream and just laying in bed thinking and smiling.
-Having the auto-complete feature in your web browser find the URL you were looking for before you type the whole thing out.
-Finally being able to pee after you were forced to hold it for a while.
-People who make you laugh.
-Discovering a new shortcut.
-Those days where you’re completely free to do whatever you want without worrying about school or work.
-Finding something you thought you had lost forever in a place you least expected it to be.
-When you push the button for the elevator and the door immediately opens because it’s already on your floor.
-Putting on clothes that are still warm from the dryer.
-The feeling of nostalgia when you visit a place you haven’t been to in years.
-Knowing deep down that you made a difference in someone’s life.
-When good memories of someone who has passed away still make you smile.
-When you’ve found or made the perfect gift for someone and you just can’t wait to give it to them.
-When you’re really upset and someone makes you smile.
-Best friends you have known so long and get along with so well you consider them your brothers and sisters.
-A hot shower after a long day and then climbing into bed with freshly laundered sheets.
-Seeing a room lit up by the soft glow of Christmas lights.(I'm thinking of you AV)
-Feeling the sunshine on your face.
-Walking barefoot through soft grass.
-When you find out the name of a song you’ve been wanting to know forever.(Thank you Jeff)
-The feeling you get when you realize you’re not alone anymore.
-The realization that you actually have people that love you and would do anything for you.
-Finding out that the person you miss misses you too.
-A friend who truly believes in you.
-Being able to recognize your best friend’s handwriting.
-The joy of looking at a picture of yourself and loving it.
-Hanging around the house in your pajamas all day long.
-When the blinker on your car blinks at the same speed as the blinker on the car in front of you.
-When you’re listening to the radio and a bunch of songs that you love come on all in a row.
-The moment when you crawl into bed after a long, tiring day.
-A big hug from a good friend.
-Realizing from their expression alone, that someone just had the exact same idea as you did.
-Slipping off your shoes without untying them.
-Feeling lucky when someone else says they’re lucky to have you in their life.
-Being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a chilly night.
-Doing something in a haste at the very last minute and totally getting away with it.
-Having that one person who is always, always on your mind. And knowing you can count on them.
-Long talks with your friends about the past, and how much you miss those times.
-Grabbing your phone to text someone and seeing that they have already texted you.
-Achieving something that you worked so hard for.
-Watching the clouds go by.
-Thinking about someone and then seeing them randomly.
-Staying up late and waking up late on long holiday weekends.
-The satisfaction of knowing you did your best.
-Looking at the driver in the car next to you at an intersection and seeing them sing along to the same song on the radio that you’re listening to.
-Singing the sounds to the guitar solo or trumpet solo when you’re listening to a song on the radio.
-Seeing Inbox(1) when you check for new email.
-Walking around your house and admiring your work right after you finish cleaning it up.
-Laughing when you know you shouldn’t, and making everyone around you laugh too.
There are many more but honestly this list is getting ridiculously long, hope that helps brighten up a few days!
-Songs that bring you back to great moments in your life.
-Accidentally overhearing someone say nice things about you.
-Laughing so hard you don’t even make any noise. (Garrett, you almost made me cry today, I was laughing so hard)
-That instant when the thing you didn’t understand suddenly makes complete sense.
-When you drop something and then swiftly grab it in mid-air before it hits the ground.
-When questions on an exam give away the answers to other questions on the same exam.
-The feeling you get when a group of friends all laugh really hard at one of your random jokes.
-Finally getting to sleep in your own bed after being away for a few weeks.
-Correctly guessing an old password on a website you haven’t visited in awhile.
-Waking up all by yourself a minute or two before your alarm goes off and feeling well rested.
-When someone tells you “yes” when you expected them to say “no.”
-When you’re hot under your bed covers and you stick one leg out from under the covers to cool off.
-Realizing you were smiling the entire time you were talking to someone, right after you hang up the phone.
-Laughing hysterically with your friends, then pausing momentarily, looking at each other, and then laughing hysterically again.
-Taking the perfect picture.
-When someone around you randomly starts laughing and even though you don’t know why they’re laughing it makes you laugh too.
-The kind of friend you can say “I love you” to without implying anything but a deep platonic friendship.
-Finding something you made when you were a kid.
-Hanging out with your closest friends and just being able to feel comfortable in your own skin around them.
-Being next in line
-When you succeed in doing something someone said you were incapable of doing.
-When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.
-The humble feeling of accomplishment you get after you fix something that was broken.
-When you wake up before your alarm and you have enough time to go back to sleep for awhile.
-Pulling into your neighborhood after a long road trip.
-Seeing the person who makes your heart race, even if it’s just for a few seconds.
-Hearing a new song you really like and then downloading it and listening to it over and over and over.
-Crossing things off your to-do list.
-Seeing somebody use and enjoy a gift you gave them.
-Being able to tell someone some genuine good news.
-The good pain of stretching your legs after sitting down for a long time.
-When someone scratches an itch on your back for you.
-The moment you see that you actually got a really good grade on a test or term paper.
-When you accidentally say something that rhymes.
-Making momentary eye contact with a cute stranger.
-An honest relationship. No secrets. No lies.
-People who make you smile just by thinking of them.
-Taking a ridiculously long nap and feeling like a million bucks when you wake up.
-When you realize you have finished everything way ahead of schedule and can do whatever you want for the rest of the day.
-Looking at a digital clock and seeing a series of numbers, like 12:34
-The way the sun shines through the leaves of a tall tree.
-The exciting feeling you get when you’re getting off the plane in a city you’ve never been to before.
-Receiving a surprise hug from behind by someone you were looking forward to seeing.
-When nobody else uses the public restroom the entire time you’re in there.
-The feeling of a fresh mouth after you brush your teeth.
-Being on the beach at night.
-Having a really great day with a friend you haven’t spent time with in ages.(Thinking of you Wayde)
-Waking up to good morning texts from someone who makes you smile.
-Hearing a song that seems to be written about exactly what’s going on in your life right now.
-That weightless feeling you get after a good cry and knowing you’ll be ok
-When you make eye contact with a friend from across the room and you both automatically smile.
-When you finally yawn after an airplane flight and your ears pop back to normal.
-Scoring 100% on anything.
-When you and a close friend finish each other’s sentences.
-When you and a friend say the same exact thing at the same exact time.
-Hitting all green lights while driving when you are in a rush.
-Singing and dancing around the house with music blaring when no one is home.
-The cold side of the pillow on a warm summer night.
-Waking up after having a great dream and just laying in bed thinking and smiling.
-Having the auto-complete feature in your web browser find the URL you were looking for before you type the whole thing out.
-Finally being able to pee after you were forced to hold it for a while.
-People who make you laugh.
-Discovering a new shortcut.
-Those days where you’re completely free to do whatever you want without worrying about school or work.
-Finding something you thought you had lost forever in a place you least expected it to be.
-When you push the button for the elevator and the door immediately opens because it’s already on your floor.
-Putting on clothes that are still warm from the dryer.
-The feeling of nostalgia when you visit a place you haven’t been to in years.
-Knowing deep down that you made a difference in someone’s life.
-When good memories of someone who has passed away still make you smile.
-When you’ve found or made the perfect gift for someone and you just can’t wait to give it to them.
-When you’re really upset and someone makes you smile.
-Best friends you have known so long and get along with so well you consider them your brothers and sisters.
-A hot shower after a long day and then climbing into bed with freshly laundered sheets.
-Seeing a room lit up by the soft glow of Christmas lights.(I'm thinking of you AV)
-Feeling the sunshine on your face.
-Walking barefoot through soft grass.
-When you find out the name of a song you’ve been wanting to know forever.(Thank you Jeff)
-The feeling you get when you realize you’re not alone anymore.
-The realization that you actually have people that love you and would do anything for you.
-Finding out that the person you miss misses you too.
-A friend who truly believes in you.
-Being able to recognize your best friend’s handwriting.
-The joy of looking at a picture of yourself and loving it.
-Hanging around the house in your pajamas all day long.
-When the blinker on your car blinks at the same speed as the blinker on the car in front of you.
-When you’re listening to the radio and a bunch of songs that you love come on all in a row.
-The moment when you crawl into bed after a long, tiring day.
-A big hug from a good friend.
-Realizing from their expression alone, that someone just had the exact same idea as you did.
-Slipping off your shoes without untying them.
-Feeling lucky when someone else says they’re lucky to have you in their life.
-Being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a chilly night.
-Doing something in a haste at the very last minute and totally getting away with it.
-Having that one person who is always, always on your mind. And knowing you can count on them.
-Long talks with your friends about the past, and how much you miss those times.
-Grabbing your phone to text someone and seeing that they have already texted you.
-Achieving something that you worked so hard for.
-Watching the clouds go by.
-Thinking about someone and then seeing them randomly.
-Staying up late and waking up late on long holiday weekends.
-The satisfaction of knowing you did your best.
-Looking at the driver in the car next to you at an intersection and seeing them sing along to the same song on the radio that you’re listening to.
-Singing the sounds to the guitar solo or trumpet solo when you’re listening to a song on the radio.
-Seeing Inbox(1) when you check for new email.
-Walking around your house and admiring your work right after you finish cleaning it up.
-Laughing when you know you shouldn’t, and making everyone around you laugh too.
There are many more but honestly this list is getting ridiculously long, hope that helps brighten up a few days!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Beautiful
"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
— Bob Marley
— Bob Marley
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Ice Heart
Ice blocking could quite possibly redefine the meaning of fun for me. There is nothing like hurtling down a hill, completely out of control, with your body facing the forces of gravity, all with the expectation of a crash at the end. Trying out all the combination's of stances to find the one that fits you best. Butt-first, stomach superman style, kneeling, surfer, link train, backwards, and the list goes on and on. Include the difficulties of different courses and you have a challenge on your hands to get to the bottom of the hill. Most of all, ice blocking, is an activity about friends. There is nothing like teaming up, trying to make it to the bottom without crashing, only to realize the crash is the best part because everyone busts up laughing. It's such a wonderful experience all the way around. I am blessed for the delightfulness of my friendships, the loveliness of nature to play on, and the elegance of God watching over us. Amazing Valentines.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Walk Away
In light of a pretty epic small group, I was confronted with all the times in my life I've had to make a tough decision and walk away. Walking away from opportunities, failures, relationships has always been something I struggle with. I'm a deeply expectations driven person, with a monumental pride issue. See I'm always in it for the glory, the recognition, the praise, that's how I was raised, do things for others so that you will make friends, network, be successful, get the praise and recognition you deserve. Nothing to it really. To be honest I have lived my life for 21 years exactly like that. Constantly struggling against an inner self that wants so much attention. To walk away for me isn't to avoid people, but to avoid myself.
Pride is a funny thing, it feels so right when the switch is turned on, you feel so "one" with yourself, the feeling of doing exactly what I want to be doing, getting all the rewards for every action. But in your heart their can always be a difference in motivation. See the flip side to pride is when the switch is off, you are no longer "one" with yourself, but at war with the universe and everything in it. Now no one is giving you the praise you deserve, everyone sees only your faults, you become bitter and entitled to the world around you. Ultimately, that bitterness pollutes everything you touch, including and most importantly your relationship with God. It makes you yell in anger at the heavens, "why me!", and there in lies the problem, self-awareness. Or the lack there-of. In order to recognize you have a pride problem, you have to first be out of the "oneness" with yourself and really see you for who you really are, unfortunately that normally comes at the cost of what was stated above.
Most often the reason I walk away from something is purely the unfortunate realization that this experience will only result in building up my pride. Simple. So many instances of Walking Away to deter pride. Not joining worship team. Not trying out for theater in college. Giving my project leader title to other group mates. Never wanting to be paid back so I could fly under the radar. Not starting relationships (sorry to those I never told the real reason) So many reasons to make it about me, I could never find a solution to make it about God. So I had to walk away.
Do I ever think about those decisions as lost opportunities, sometimes. But I think the reward I gained from drawing closer to God, experiencing more of his character, giving for the right intentions. Has made me a humbler person, more willing and able to do what is right for the right motivation. Leading me to a fuller life in the future.
Pride is a funny thing, it feels so right when the switch is turned on, you feel so "one" with yourself, the feeling of doing exactly what I want to be doing, getting all the rewards for every action. But in your heart their can always be a difference in motivation. See the flip side to pride is when the switch is off, you are no longer "one" with yourself, but at war with the universe and everything in it. Now no one is giving you the praise you deserve, everyone sees only your faults, you become bitter and entitled to the world around you. Ultimately, that bitterness pollutes everything you touch, including and most importantly your relationship with God. It makes you yell in anger at the heavens, "why me!", and there in lies the problem, self-awareness. Or the lack there-of. In order to recognize you have a pride problem, you have to first be out of the "oneness" with yourself and really see you for who you really are, unfortunately that normally comes at the cost of what was stated above.
Most often the reason I walk away from something is purely the unfortunate realization that this experience will only result in building up my pride. Simple. So many instances of Walking Away to deter pride. Not joining worship team. Not trying out for theater in college. Giving my project leader title to other group mates. Never wanting to be paid back so I could fly under the radar. Not starting relationships (sorry to those I never told the real reason) So many reasons to make it about me, I could never find a solution to make it about God. So I had to walk away.
Do I ever think about those decisions as lost opportunities, sometimes. But I think the reward I gained from drawing closer to God, experiencing more of his character, giving for the right intentions. Has made me a humbler person, more willing and able to do what is right for the right motivation. Leading me to a fuller life in the future.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Humility
Humility is understanding that the way you live your life isn't perfect or the best possible. That humility is exemplified in the attitude of knowing there is room for improvement. The action of asking others that know better for wisdom.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Sickness
Ugg.. getting back to being healthy is such a long and arduous process. I just wish it was like a storm out at sea, your in it, feeling terrible, hoping it will get better, praying for deliverance from what feels like your eternal suffering. And then the wind abates, the sun shines, and the boat is all fine and dandy. Like flipping a switch, wonderful. Not so with sickness. I would characterize sickness as a slogging climb out of a filth and grim infested ditch, as you climb you feel better because you seem to be escaping the worst of the unpleasantness, but once you get to the top you realize your surrounded on all sides by the isles of the cough, and you must now sally forth across those vast wastelands to reach the promised land of renewed vigor and health. Taking care to not fall into further ditches of disease as you venture across to health. And that journey my friends, blows, it blows hard chunks. So...Any who, after getting the flu and knocking the stuffing out of it, I'm attempting the journey to the promise land, lets see how far I get.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)